exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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