is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
