My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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