This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
