U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
