I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize