Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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