I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
