elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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