i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
