Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
