Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize