i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
