never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Randomize