She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
