Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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