ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
