Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
