does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
