I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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