I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
