I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize