I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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