In the future we'll all be gay
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
