This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
