Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
