Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Randomize