youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
