so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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