i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
