haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
