my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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