You made me cry and you don't even care
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
