i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
