I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
