He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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