make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
