Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
