if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
