ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
