The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
