hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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