just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
