what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
