Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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