Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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