Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
