so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she smelled like a LAN party
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
