i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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