singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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