I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
