Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
