1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize