So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
In other news, I just burned my penis
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
