i permit you to call me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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