so let's talk penis.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
