What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
