Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
