I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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