they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
