I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
