I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
