my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
