please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize