Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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