First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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