When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
